In part 1 I shared my desperate need for God. His request for me, was to put my last meal of the day down, and spent one hour with Him for a week. I didn’t understand the reason behind it originally because I had just been flowing with the chaos of my life for so long, it began to feel normal. However, God was NOT having it. So, here’s what happened during my week with Him.
1. I Let It Out
I love how God will let you just come into His presence, and just let it all out. The first night all I did was cry. I let out every feeling of confusion, frustration, and fear that had built itself in me. It was not a pretty sight; My face was all red, nose running, hair all wild, just a mess! But with God that was okay. He didn’t need me to come to Him all pretty on the outside, but tore up and falling apart on the inside, which is exactly how it started at first. He needed me to come in with that broken spirit and contrite heart. That’s what moved Him. Once I got out all that was holding me down out, I was able to take the next step.
2. I Welcomed God into my chaos
Though God is all knowing and omnipresent, He still wants to be welcomed into our lives. That includes the out of control parts. I wasn’t hearing God because I wasn’t including Him in my life. Those “screaming fans” of my life were drowning out His voice. I felt I could handle things on my own, and I didn’t want to bother God with my chaotic life. During that week, I named every issue and situation in my life, good and bad, and every time I started it out with “God I welcome You into…” A lot of time we complain and welcome other people into our mess, and they can’t even do anything about it. Instead welcome the One who can actually do something about it, and that is more than honored to.
“Cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.”
1 Peter 5:7
When things are always going bad, it’s kind of hard to see the silver lining. That week taught me to be appreciative of what I ALREADY had. The more I spent in His presence, the more He cleared my mind so I could see those blessings. I thanked Him for the fact that even though I shut Him out, He never left me. That everlasting love that draws me to Him, was that same love that kept a hold of me.
“The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying: “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with loving-kindness I have drawn you.”
4. He Cleaned Me Up
During that week, I was completely renewed from the inside out. The first thing He renewed was my heart. (Create in me a clean heart. Psalm 51:10), then came my mind (And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Roman 12:2) Once those things were made whole again, everything else followed suit; My speech changed, my attitude simmered, I started to care about my outward appearance again and my joy returned. Things felt fresh, new and hopeful. I had a peace about me that I couldn’t explain, but what I DID know was it was God.
5. Gained Control Over My Flesh
For the fasting part, I was learning to resist my flesh and focus on things spiritual. I had to learn to tell myself no. “No, you’re not going to talk that way. No you’re not going to give up on this. No, you will not give up on God again, no, no, no!” When we live under the authority of our flesh, you’ll be amazed the things you’ll find yourself doing and saying. Flesh will not control me, but I will have authority over it!
6. I MADE Time For God
This was the biggest thing of that whole week. I learned to MAKE time for God. I was able to make time for any and everything that flooded my life, but I was forgetting to make time for the most important thing. God is the center of our lives, and to make time for Him symbolizes that we are acknowledging Him as that, but also that we aren’t just using Him as like a genie in a bottle. You know, only “making time” for Him when we need something. I started seeking Him early in the morning. Thanking Him for waking me up, praying for others and myself and laying out my entire day WITH Him.
That week with God gave me more insight and renewal then I could ever image. I feel more connected and more able to withstand the things in my life. The feeling that I experienced was something that I always wanted to have. I wanted to stay with God all the time, in that closet. I wanted to talk with Him, and listen while He talked to me. The fact that He even thought that much about me, to help organize my life, shows me no matter how low, God will still go.