“Word to the Wives”-Stuck Like Glue

I have this theory; every woman has already planned her wedding before planning for anything else. I could be wrong, but most likely I am right. We specifically lay out of the pieces of our wedding day. Formulating a plan that will make sure that everything falls into place EXACTLY. We do this because we know two things; it’s a very important day, and that day can COMPLETELY be…about us. 

We awake hours before the wedding; Untying the scarf that was cutting off our circulation, but kept our wedding hair intact, spending an hour and a half in the chair while the lady who does our make up GUARANTEES she can contour our faces exactly like the YouTube tutorial, all while adding that pop of glitter on our eyes. Strapping on our shoes that are an inch before being “Too High” and finally…the dress. The dream gown that you declared “The Perfect One” out of hundreds! The dress that fits EVEN BETTER now because we’ve been putting in time at the gym, on the ab machine that we hated so much, and to top it off!…him. The man that is the reason why you’ve gone through this extra maintenance work, to make sure you look amazing! Yes, I believe that women have definitely been doing some serious pre- planning! 

After watching my best friend, Tonya get married to her boyfriend at P.E (Although it only lasted until lunch), I just KNEW there was love out there for Leslie Tate. Between morning recess and nap time in Kindergarten, I scoped out who was going to be Mr. Right for me. Every little boy that DIDN’T pick his nose, became a instant qualifier. It was arts and craft time and the process of creating a perfect masterpiece out of macaroni was my complete focus. As I was sculpting my creation, over my shoulder I hear, “Can I borrow your glue please?” As I grunted and turned to give up my glue, I froze in the moment. His light brown eyes, Nubian skin and 90’s kid box haircut became the spotlight of my entire view. (Yes, I was really thinking this in Kindergarten by the way). As both our hands grasped the glue at the same time, he smiled, showing the two spots were his upper front teeth use to be. Yep, fell in love right there.

” Thank you…uhh..what’s your name?” He asked. As I fixed my mouth to talk, our teacher called for the Table Captains to help put the supplies away. As he walked away, he took my glue and my heart….Leaving my name to be “Uhh.”

“Word to the Wives”- NEW SERIES

W.A.V.E will be premiering a weekly blog series into the commitment of marriage, through the eyes of successful author, Lesile Lawrence. Follow her as she jots down her daily encounters as a new wife to her husband, Brian. As their love continues to grow, so does their challenges. Be prepared, for these two will soon experience the truth definition of “for better or for worse.”

Things Non-Christians Want Christians To Know

As Christians, we sometimes never get the perspectives of others. A lot of times other religions tend to get left out of the equation as we walk out our lives with Christ. I had the opportunity to speak to each one of these people, of different religions, to see what they had to say. So, here are things Non-Christians want Christians to know.

 

1. “​Stay strong and continue learning about your religion. I know that a lot of people claim they’re Christians, but for someone to actually know about it and apply it to their daily lives, that takes a lot of strength in this world so definitely stay strong.” -Mariam, Sunni Muslim

 

2. “I want Christians to understand that the animosity people have against them isn’t baseless. Like, I see the way that Christians are beginning to be treated in the world, and while I don’t approve of it (at all), I do know where it comes from. Today, it seems like telling someone you’re Christian is a one way ticket to an argument, or losing a friend. That feeling, the prosecution – that’s what people – who flew the same banner as Christians, who called themselves Christians – were doing to the rest of us since the days of Constantine. Growing up, I remember almost every person I ever met getting angry, visibly, physically angry – some even violent -when I did nothing more than tell them I wasn’t Christian. As if the idea that I have the freedom to believe what I want was offensive to them. I got in fights with people because I didn’t believe in their specific Messiah. I was even jumped once over it, simply because it was known that I wasn’t a Christian. The kind of stuff you’d compare to the Salem Witch Trials – and I am not alone in that experience. Now I’m more open minded than a lot of people are, and I know that behavior doesn’t constitute a true Christian – but it is nonetheless the behavior of people who called themselves Christian. And it’s what fuels a lot of the fear and hate that other people have for Christians today.” -Anonymous, Germanic Neo-Pagan.

 

3. “I want Christians to know that the majority of religions all teach peace, and attempt to better one’s life. At the core, everyone wants the same things.” – Teddy Finley, Agnostic

 

4. “From my perspective, as a spiritual person who has spent a great deal of time with many people of different religions, we are all much more alike than we are different. The religious interpretations of books written by men many years ago are actually much more similar than they are different. Jesus loved and cared for all unconditionally and without regard for label or membership in any specific group. If we all lead a similar life our planet would be a much nicer, kinder, safer place for everyone. But so long as we cast judgement upon those whom we have given a label to and exclude them from the generosities of community then we will continue to live in a world of fear and violence. I have faith that there is more goodness in the world than bad, but I also seek out the good while trying to understand the bad and our role in it. If I can do my part to create a more inclusive and welcoming community then I know we will all be better off. -Niki Kelly, Spiritual Connected

 

5. “Be more open minded about other religions and perspectives that differ from their beliefs.”– Nyabinghi Ngoni, Ancient Egyptian Religion

 

6. “ਏਕੁ ਪਿਤਾ ਏਕਸ ਕੇ ਹਮ ਬਾਰਿਕ ਤੂ ਮੇਰਾ ਗੁਰ ਹਾਈ ॥

एकु पिता एकस के हम बारिक तू मेरा गुर हाई ॥ 

Ėk piṯā ekas ke ham bārik ṯū merā gur hā▫ī.”

“The One God is our father; we are the children of the One God.” -Sikhism


7. “Don’t be afraid to have an open mind. Having an open mind, doesn’t mean you have less faith.”- Jason J. Cutler, Agnostic 


8. Buddha: “What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create”. -Jasmine Tiara, Buddhist

 

9. “Don’t put us in Hell when you don’t have that authority to do so. Show us the same love that your religion teaches. Your love will move people way more than your judgement.” -Anonymous, Agnostic

 

10. “The best way to change people is not by ridicule, but by showing them a new way of thinking and giving them an opportunity to change.”-Lord Krishna, Hindu

 

 

Regardless of religion, let us go about loving one another as Christ loved us. NEVER is hate and separation going to win the heart of someone. If we actually apply that same love that was shown to us when we were drawn to Christ, maybe the world would be a better place to be in.

 

The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying:
“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore with loving-kindness I have drawn you.

Jeremiah 31:3

 

 

“I Made A Vow To The Lord.”

It wasn’t until I really sat and thought about it, that I realized that I’ve been watching a miracle unfold my entire life. I’ve heard about things that this woman went through long before I was born, that would completely have torn most people apart. I’ve watched for the last 12 years as God’s grace and consistency carried this woman from day to day, overcoming physical, mental and emotional breakdowns, all while she says, “God must have His hands on me, and I’m going to trust in Him.” That woman is my mom.

Early Life

“I was born first, then right after me came my twin brother, Patrick. They couldn’t get his blood pressure up, and he died 45 minutes later. I always felt like it was my fault.” In my mom’s early years she kept to herself, only really associating with a few siblings and her parents. With her demeanor at times, some could categorize her as a bully, but deep down it was something more than just being angry. “I just felt like a part of me was missing. I was missing my twin brother, Patrick.”

With the issue of not being able to hear well, this placed some struggles before her. Not being able to conduct conversations well contributed to her not wanting to really interact with people. Some of the few people that she did associate with weren’t exactly the best of crowds, with one incident almost costing her her life. “This girl thought that I was talking to her boyfriend, and she pulled a gun out on me. When she pulled the trigger, the gun didn’t go off. God just had His hands on me.”

Later on, God placed someone in her life who, unknown to her, would play the most instrumental part in her life. “His name was Michael Frink, and I always tried to avoid him. I just thought he was strange with those funny-looking, light brown eyes. I use to say when I saw him in the hallway, what kind of black boy has eyes like that?!”

She may not have wanted him, but he certainly had eyes for her. With persuasion and courtesy, he was able to convince her to go out with him and the two started dating. “He was just so nice and sweet. I don’t know how he put up with my mean self.”

Marriage, Mourning, Miracle

As time went on, the two married. It was later that the worse news any couple would Screenshot_2014-05-09-07-43-13-1ever want to hear happened. “I was working at the nursing home, lifting stuff and didn’t even know I was pregnant. I had a normal cycle and everything, but I was actually pregnant and I lost him. His name was going to be Patrick Richard Frink, but he didn’t make it.” Three years later, God turned around and blessed them with a baby girl, me! “Michael Frink told me to put my job down because we were going to have this baby. I told him that I was going to quit not because he told me to, but because I wanted to and so I sat down a whole year.” When it came time to deliver, the process was life-threatening. She was unable to have me naturally, and her blood pressure was shooting to dangerous levels. “They couldn’t get me to calm down. They had to call my sister in to get me to relax, if not neither me or you would be here.” After a careful C-section, I was born. Both of us well.

Lost of Husband and Dad

December 15, 2004 my mom got the shock of her life. “I remember just calling his name, he never answered me. I flipped the light on, I saw him and I knew he was gone.” He had died of a heart attack. It was on that day that my mom’s entire lifestyle changed. Her health slowly, but surely began to fail. “He did everything for me; hear for me, did my medicine, helped me take care of important stuff. What was I suppose to do with a 10 year old?” Depression began to overtake her, so much so that she began to hack away at her own health. With constant sky high blood pressure and out of control eating, she was starting to grow weak and her body was showing it.

Health Failing

In the summer of 2009, my mom noticed a black mole on her toe, unbeknownst to her, it was the start of gangrene. “Overtime it just got worse. Two of my toes kept bleeding and I kept changing socks. I would wear two pairs of socks just to keep the blood from soaking through.” When it became too much for her, she finally told me. When my aunt came to see it, it was horrifying. The smell was so potent that on our way out the door to the hospital, the aroma was still in the room. Doctors told us that if she had waited ONE MORE WEEK, she would have died. The only thing that was suppressing the infection from spreading faster was an antibiotic that she received from her doctor for a lung infection.

Arriving at the hospital, they concluded that her whole foot was already dead, and planned to amputate it. However, within hours she started to feel intense pain, symbolizing that her foot was alive! Due to the damage of the infection however, they ended up only having to remove two toes.

Being A Caregiver Then Losing A Friend

20170627_061330Even through her own sicknesses, my mom had a heart to do one thing, take care of her mom. “My mom was my best friend. She didn’t even know it sometimes, but she would counsel me when I would get depressed.” As time developed, her mom’s congestive heart failure started to become too much. Unable to be placed on dialysis, her mom soon passed away in the comfort of her home, surrounded by her loved ones. “That was hard for me because that was my best friend. That was my life.”

A few years later, my mom was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure, herself. Following that came being a dialysis patient. This was hard for her because she had to learn how to alter her entire life around dialysis. That first year really took a toll on her body and caused her to seep into a more depressed state.

Nothing But God!

One final trip to the hospital led her family to make a life changing decision. Doctors IMG_20170312_182407_770claimed to have found a blood clot in her lungs. In order to have seen it better, they would have needed to shoot a chemical into her system that would help them see the issue. The downfall of it was that 75% of the people that underwent this test ended up in total kidney failure and her kidneys were only functioning at 6%. We had to choose between taking that risk and treating it, with the possibility that it could put her in total kidney failure, and she’d begin to slowly die or let doctors treat it the best they could, with the high risk that she could have a heart attack and end up in a vegetative state. When we made our final decision to proceed with the test, we all began to sincerely pray. The next morning, we got a call saying that it WAS NOT a blood clot, but actually a small case of pneumonia.

I use to sit back, watching God and wonder, “What are you up to?” He began to reveal to me that everything my mom couldn’t do or was afraid to do, he was removing that fear from her. She started speaking out loud in conversations, laughing more, and our relationship was blossoming and growing. Everything that was taking place, God was allowing it to show her that He is able to sustain her. “I’m praying that God will keep showing me the way. I may not be able to walk good and sometimes my speech gets messed up because of my strokes, but I’m still here.”

Talk about a W.A.V.E! She has survived:

  1. Kidney Failure
  2. Dialysis
  3. Gangrene
  4. THREE strokes
  5. THREE cases of pneumonia
  6. Temporary blindness
  7. Sky high blood pressure
  8. Two amputated toes

 

All I can say is God is amazing! I don’t know many people who have survived ALL those things and lived to tell about it, but my mom will be able to continue to show the miracles of God as she celebrates 57 years of life June 27th! PhotoGrid_1498329746178

 

 

 

I Asked God For Success…Well.

For most people, when you ask them what they want from life, they’ll say, “I just want to be successful.” At one point in my life, that’s exactly what I told God. As believers, many of us have asked and asked for God to bless us beyond measure, open up doors that could never be opened through our own ability, and to increase our resources and riches. When we make these bold statements to God, are we REALLY taking into account what it takes to get them?

WHAT’S THE COST??????

As God gives, the requirements and responsibilities increases. You can’t ask for riches, receive it and go back to wasting. Now, I personally don’t know what it is that you’re seeking God for, but you do. As well as God, but regardless of what those things are, it takes you doing something you’ve never done before, giving up something that you’d never image and walking away from some people that are just going to make you compromise. For those currently seeking God for something, ask yourself this question, “Am I ready to give up something I love, to receive what I’m asking for?”

 

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Sometimes your circle of friends will need to be elevated or evacuated. When you continue to prosper, some friends aren’t going to understand. Of course you have friends that may not get it at first, but will grow with you. If they elevate with you keep them around. Those are usually the friends that God blessed you with to endure the process it takes to get you to what you’re asking for. Just the fact that they are willing to support you and encourage, is enough to keep them around.

However, if there’s a new demand on your new level, and your friends can’t understand AND choose not to, it may be time to evacuate those relationships. Remember, everybody just isn’t going to get it. Some can’t mentally and spiritually grasp everything God is doing for you, but there’s a difference between encouraging you as they learn, and  not getting it due to jealously or not seeing God’s hand on you.

This ALSO goes for love relationships. If they choose not to value your need for more, then it’s high time you leave. Keep it mind, whatever you lose, God replaces….and it’s EVEN BETTER!

The goal is to NEVER have to compromise God for NO ONE. So, if those friends or significant others are putting you in that position, you need to dismiss yourself from them. Friends since Diaper Days or not, you got places to go in God, and you don’t have time for unnecessary pit stops.

Former Mindsetsbrain-1295128_1280


Once we’ve gotten use to a certain way of thinking, alternating that way can be kind of a challenge. If you’re so use to saying “can’t”, then “can” will feel so hard to get to. When we begin to get what we ask for, it’s important to work that brain and teach it to turn negative thinking into positive thinking. Easier said then done, right? I know. However, it doesn’t mean it can’t be done. With your focus being on God, He’ll cause a fresh renewing of your mind. You’ll begin to correct yourself when you drift off because that refreshing spirit will quicken you and help you make corrections.

“and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds,  and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”

Ephesians 4:23-24

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Ephesians 4:29

Regular Routinestime-488112_1920

“Get up, shower, brush your teeth, get dressed…etc.” It’s super easy to fall into a regular routine, and never deviate from it. Occasionally, God will shift things in your life to make room for what you asked for. If there’s no room for it, how can you accept it? Step out of your regular routines, and allow God to have His way so He can be able to place some of the things you’ve asked for into place. Pray, ask Him what He requires of you and follow through.

Now ask yourself again: “Am I ready to give up something I love, to receive what I’m asking for?”

 

 

Your Enemy Wants YOUR Man…What Are YOU Going To Do?

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Put your gloves on, Ladies!

For some of us, we’ve gone into boxing matches to fight for our men, and we weren’t taking anything from ANYONE. “He’s mine not yours, case closed”.

THEN there’s those like me that have NEVER fought over a man in their life! Through my couple of months of being married though, I learned that the enemy wanted my husband. I learned I had two choices: let him have him, or learn to fight.

Note: if you currently don’t have a man, be patient your time will soon come where you’ll have to do the same thing.

How does he want your man?

For one, the husband is the head of the household (1 Corinthians 11:3). The order of positions according to the Bible is: God is over Christ, Christ is over man, and man is over his wife. If the enemy can break down the head of the household, the entire home can rapidly fall apart. It’s just like the body. If one major part begins to fail, and DOESN’T get fixed, the rest of the body begins to break down. underground-885206_1920He’s well aware the importance of your man, and tries to use it to his advantage.

NOTE: Never does your husband being the head of the household qualify you to be abused, nor does it diminish the significance of you OR your role in the relationship. Actually, your importance is compared to that of the love Christ has for His church. (Ephesians 5:25)

He’s also wanted just because he’s YOUR significant other. Your enemy already doesn’t like you! He’ll attack any and everything you love. With relationships, the unity can spark a powerful force that could completely bring the enemy to his knees, especially if that force is solely driven by God. So, your intimacy is important with your significant other. The enemy seeks to attack the intimacy within the relationship, to break the bond and tool around with its structure. If he knows he can distract your man from God, which is the sole connection within your relationship, then he knows he can break apart the unity and there is when things crumbles.

SO WHAT DO I DO?

#1: Pick your battlespair-707506_1920

The first thing that I learned in my marriage was to pick my battles. I’ve always been quick to firmly state my opinion about any and everything, and I ALWAYS needed to have the last word. I learned that sometimes I’m not always right, and that when I AM right, that I don’t ALWAYS have to say it. One of my favorite quotes from the movie, “War Room” is, “Sometimes being submissive means ducking, so God can hit your husband.” Trust me, if he’s wrong, God will make sure to put him in line. Remember, the enemy’s goal is to break up the unity. No unity, no power.

#2: Intercede for himwoman-1708105_1920

Your primary job is to intercede for him in prayer. Daily he faces things that cannot be explained, spiritually and in the natural. Not to say you don’t, but referring to what I said earlier, if the major part fails, the rest begins to fall apart. Also, if you have children, you have to begin thinking in terms of your WHOLE family. You have to protect your house by any means necessary, through the power tool that is accessible to you, which is prayer. There are somethings that you can’t do anything about, but you can ALWAYS pray, that CANNOT be taken away. Cover him in fervent prayer, bombard Heaven with your requests for him, and watch God as He performs miracles.

#3: Encourage himholding-hands-1149411_1920

One of your man’s biggest fans should DEFINITELY be you. You should be that girlfriend in high school that wore the same jersey as her boyfriend, cheering him on as he darts across the football field scoring that touchdown. On his lowest days, you need to encourage him. Help build him up, because if you fall you’re going to need him. Another things the enemy preys on is self-esteem. If he senses insecurities and uncertainties, that begins to peak his interest, and he then pounces. He doesn’t want us to reach our full potential so with our men, if he keeps him from growing in Christ, he’ll kill the power source. Once that connection breaks down, that not only affects him, but it also affects you. So, cheer him on when he’s up, build him up when he’s down.

 

#4: Love him: 

“Love covers a multitude of sin” (1 Peter 4:8). Finally, love is key to battling the enemy for him. Pure love gravitates you both to each other in a way that no other thing can do. Satan does not know how to love anything but himself. He can’t fathom the fact that we can be selfless towards someone else, but we can! Love him in the bad as well as the good. Give yourself selflessly and listen as God gives you strategic instructions as it pertains to him. Get in your warfare mode, and get ready to fight for your man. love-1194312_1920

Where Would I Be?

 “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”

Jeremiah 1:5 NLT

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As a child I loved hearing my mother tell “my story”, for it was different from any of the other kids around me.

My Story: I was six months old when my mother made the decision, to allow another family to take me into their new home. She had just met them a few days after my birth. She had been connected to this couple, who had just won the lottery in Ohio, and was ready to start a new life. They came down to Florida, and married four days after I was born. After meeting me, I was told they instantly fell in love and wanted to take me in as their God child. Jokingly, my mother told me that they offered to buy me. (Yeah, a bit extreme).

They ended up being appointed as my God Parents. My mother was twenty at the time, and soon got pregnant again. After finding out she was pregnant, she informed my God parents. My God mother insisted that she let me come with them for a few months until she got on her feet. Those few months turned into 7 years. During those years, I traveled back and forth from Florida to Pennsylvania, many times I traveled alone. It became the norm for me. I had two different sets of parents: I had a biological father in prison, and a single mother who was enjoying her youth. Then I had a set of wealthy, Christian parents, who not only “gave me the world,” but introduced me to Christ.  1394189_729176637111936_2102773526_n

As a kid, my God parents raised me in a church called “Pentecostal House of Prayer”, where my God mother is now the pastor. They were strong in their faith and raised me to be as well. After deciding I was ready to move back to Florida, life soon changed. Though my mother wasn’t wealthy, she was my mother, and I was ready to get to know her. She was now somewhat stable, and at a place where she could raise me and my sister. Coming back to her was like a dream come true. Though the lifestyle was fairly different, I managed to adjust. I no longer attended church every week, I no longer got everything I asked for, and I know longer slept in my own room or had my own bed. I had to learn to adjust. However, I was able to share the gospel with my mother, she would feel convicted, and take me to church here and there.

By the age of 14, I was going to church consistently on my own. I found a loving, caring church family at “Victory Temple Whole World of Truth”. There they took take care of me until the day I got married. Sometimes growing up I would regret ever coming back to Florida because I know longer “had the world”, I was now introduced to the struggle. However, what I still had was my knowledge of God. No one could take that from me, and no one could come between that, it was established. As I look back… I ask myself, “Where would I be, without Him?” After going back and forth as a kid, going from a stable home to an unstable home, I still managed to have a relationship with Him. Regardless of what age I was or where I was, He was still with me. What an amazing God!

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What makes you a W.A.V.E?

When you look up the definition of Achieve you find the word “Accomplish”. Now when you look up the word victory you find the definition “defeating the enemy”.
What makes me a WAVE is each day I am striving to be the best in Christ I can be with His help. Keeping my eyes on Him and not looking back. That’s how I succeed at defeating the enemy.